Thursday, 6 October 2011

australian girls are the coolest girls

She's been to the races
She's slept on a beach
And blown all her wages

Done her Bridesmaids duty
Had New Years in Byron
People say she's hot
She says: "They're lyin'"

Puts her make-up on driving
Once had her drink spiked
Had sex with some muso
She never even liked

She looks like her Grandma
Those freckles on her nose                    
She goes to the RSL                           
and can repeat the Ode

The honourable poet, Adam Gibson, has penned an incredibly honest, unbiased and acutely accurate poem about Australian girls.
Gibson's band, the Ariel Maps, has taken this well researched and startlingly true poem and turned it into a song - 'Australian Girls Are The Coolest Girls' and made it, well, a real celebration of cool, Australian girls and it's got me thinking about just why us local lasses are fair dinkum special.

"The idea for the song came after I'd been living overseas for some time. I met two Aussie girls who were passing through the town I was living in and it really struck me that most of the Australian girls I knew were very switched on.

They could hold their own in most situations and were very capable in their dealings with the world. They can tell stories, they will have a go at most sports, they have an earthiness about them that is unpretentious and, generally speaking, they will sit you on your arse if you say or do something stupid or out of line" says Gibson.
Gibson explains that it is “a song for my ex girlfriends, for my cousins, for the girls I go to the football with or go camping up the coast with. It's a celebration of my mates, many of whom happen to be Australian Girls. And many of whom are pretty damn cool ... "
See the incredible wisdom in Gibson's words, and being one of the stupendous specimens he speaks of, I made a list of why exactly it is that Australian girls really are the coolest girls.


The Australian girl knows blokes are full of crap but she won't pull out the "men are bastards" speech unless she's talking about her boyfriend losing all their rent money on the horses. 
If she's single she can spend a Saturday night at home with a DVD without thinking her life is miserable. She knows if her guy wants to spend a night out with the boys it doesn't mean he doesn't love her and will lovingly make up the couch for him to pass out on and snore as loud as he likes when he gets home.
Enthusiastic participation at the pub, shows the Australian girl isn’t afraid to knock back a few with mates or whoever is sitting at the bar at knock off time. She will lead Saturdays pub crawl with stamina and determination too.
The Aussie girl also understands a quaint drinking tradition called The Shout.


The Australian girl will join in any water/mud/snow/sand/food fight going and will do her team mates proud with accuracy and her ‘fight to the death’ commitment and courage.


She has a solid group of friends she's had guy-pashing contests with, embarassing but memorable secrets with and occasionally has to slap sense into. She understands only a sociopath would utter the words “I prefer the company of men”.
She may sound crass to the uneducated ear, but really she is just being honest and once you get used to the lingo you’ll realise she is far more genuine and approachable than any girl overseas who you might hear squealing “O.M.G* Nicole, you look totes pritz* - mew*...I wish I was as skinny as you” (yes, there really are girls who speak like that...non-Australian ones of course).

* if you, like me, abhor such inane acronyms you may not know that O.M.G. = ‘oh my god’

* translation = ‘totally pretty’
* apparently this is an expression of sadness/disappointment/regret


She can stop traffic in jeans and a t-shirt but has been known to drop half a week's wages on a pair of heels if they show off her calves. Although, she understands that thongs are all-terrain footwear and will be found in a well loved pair of havianas...if she's wearing shoes at all.


‘Pull my finger’ is not only endlessly funny but a competitive sport for her.


The Australian girl is an optimist. She believes in love, loyalty, laughter and derives enormous happiness from the simple pleasures in life. She adores dogs and kids and the beach and her grandmother's old tea cosies.
In the end she's not a list of attributes, she's a wonderful soul who is only found down under.

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